I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
