Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
