I'm passing your future prison.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
