Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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