Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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