I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
