No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
