Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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