i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
