Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
