Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
