Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
