Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
