omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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