so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
