im having a threesome with these popsicles
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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