I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
