Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
