Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
