Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
