When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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