My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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