I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You can't special order awesome
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
