We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
