I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
