i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
