You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
where are you?
Hypothermia
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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