just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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