how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
