smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I intend to get homeless drunk
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What drink are we having for lunch?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
