Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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