im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
