like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
