I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
