Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
