You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
