Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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