Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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