apparently the secret to your success is patron
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
