i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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