you guys were way drunker than both of me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
third nipple confirmed
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
