holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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