Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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