there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
