Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we made out on top of his cat.
he shaved USA in his pubs
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
