Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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