It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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