Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
