Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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