Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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