Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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